I always look at the people around me at school and sometimes, I don’t understand them as much as they don’t understand me like yeah, we all have differences…
I entered school like it was the first day again. Cliche’s things made me nostalgic like the rusting air conditioning unit in our room, wooden chairs and of course plaques and awards given to our college. Same old faces flashed in my face as I enter the room. But something’s odd about them. I’m guessing if that is their new clothes, I mean revealing clothes that tells people who they are? The vulgar way of telling people they don’y like them by sarcasms? The thin line between fear and respect? The messy room that everyone hates yet they don’t clean up? or the system that they claims to be fucked up? I don’t know where can I put myself inside the room. Should I blend in and demise coz I was already eaten up by the system? or should I distance myself and look different as f**k? If I’m gonna ask you if would you rather be a friendless loser or a person who has tons of friends who secretly hates you, would you choose the answer that is best suits you or just go with the flow? People tend to hate things which aren’t in favor to them and funny how people easily judge others without knowing them. It’s like I am living in a world where wolves eat and kill their own kind for their own sake.
The next day, Shinister called me and she’s ranting about why people tend to say “Bida bida” or simply showing off when you are being good at anything you do. (I can’t tell her that it is about insecurity or whatsoever. Maybe because you are being so conceited that people misinterpret it into being just confident.) I told her that it is a sign of immaturity. (actually I don’t really know) and she has nothing to do with it. People will do everything just to be on top. That’s our nature whether we admit it or not. (although I don’t know exactly how other people feel) We strive to be the best in every way we know and can. We always think that we are on top of everyone coz we always keep in mind the “EDGE THINGY” among the people we know. We don’t really know how people feel about something and someone. Sometimes, if you are good and responsible in class, you are that one person they should avoid coz it’s so not cool to be studying and doing your thing while other people are having a good time (well i guess not all of us lol). If you show kindness to other people you are being too plastic because they think that you don’t need to be friends with everyone (well they are right but showing kindness isn’t the deal with being friends with everyone. It’s all about being interactive). If you befriended the person that you bestfriend hates, you aren’t a real friend and if you still talk with your ex, they’ll think that you’re still into them like *Why can’t you just see us as an individual with no relationship or something?*
It’s easy for us to judge but we are too blind to see our own flaws. We do things that can cover up our mistakes and do everything to protect our pride. Sometimes, what is good for you won’t be good for some people because you aren’t them and you won’t be. If we see someone who is better than us, we tend to do every thing just to break them but the truth is, it’s insecurity, inferiority and hatred that drives us to dislike something or someone. It’s funny how people, I mean people like me spit some words to hurt others. They say it’s being real and not being an ass. But that simple word can drive a person mad. I think it’s good to be honest but what if the person you seriously had a one-on-one talk have inferiority? Not all people can handle everything that was thrown at them but then again, we can’t really understand everything so we just have to accept things as they are. We can be honest without being an ass. We can be great if we just accept that in this world, imperfection’s the center and if we just don’t blame other people for having different perspectives that sometimes opposes you. Just accept that what others think of you is not a thing you should worry about. Remember, as I said above, imperfection is what makes us. You cannot make people change their views just because you see something different about them. (Just because people are different doesn’t make them less of a person). But in the end, it’s always a matter of choice. If being what you are is what makes you happy and satisfied then so be it. Bad or good is just labels because even if they think that you’re being an ass for being yourself, it’s a matter of choice if you’ll believe them or feel good about yourself coz you are good at what you are doing.